Bulwer-Lytton

The 2004 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest are out: first place,

She resolved to end the love affair with Ramon tonight... summarily, like Martha Stewart ripping the sand vein out of a shrip's tail... though the term 'love affair' now struck her as a ridiculous euphemism... not unlike 'sand vein,' which is after all an intestine, not a vein... and that tarry substance inside certainly isn't sand... and that brought her back to Ramon.

- Dave Zobel, Manhattan Beach, CA

Too bad they don't have a thesis category.