Mike Beversluis

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Heh

Darth Vader's blog.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Ha ha France

Losing to Americans at bread baking?!

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Lifestyles of the Middle Class and Obscure


The Elektra Micro Case Leva is shiny. Very shiny.


Verdict so far (~8 cups into my barrista career): It makes tasty coffee, but it's tempermental.

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Metronastics

Okay, here's the new game I made up that you can play if you want: When riding on a subway or bus, just before your stop, stand up near the door without holding onto any of the railings or straps. The object is to stay balanced without reaching for anything and without moving your feet, not unlike a gymnast trying to stick the landing. So far, I'm not doing very well, but the East German judge is a dick.

The second game is an oldie from the lab back in Richland. Me and another Mike would play it while the TCSPC experiments ran. Black vinyl electrical tape comes in rolls that are typically 2" in diameter, and their heft makes them just right for tossing ala a bowling ball along smooth floors so that they shoot across the room. Two people stand about 15 feet apart and facing each other along a corridor with empty coke cans in front of themselves. You then take turns trying to knock the other guy's can over, and each time someone does, you move one step further apart. The first to score ten wins. Now, you'll have to trust me on this, but because of the magical properties of electrical tape and the way you can tilt it just so and have it gracefully slice a curve right into the can, well, because of that, this game rules.

UPDATE: I'm pretty sure this the most retarded thing I've written here.

Updated UPDATE: Yet.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

86 Rules

How debauched of me to post this, but these are good rules even for restaurants:

Excerpts from Modern Drunkard's 86 Rules of Boozing:

7. "Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night."

I think this applies to borrowing in general.

13. "If your bartender makes your drink too weak, order a double the next time. He'll get the message."

20. "Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks."

39. "Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value."

48. "Men don't drink from straws."

66. "Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, 'I'm an idiot.'"

Friday, April 15, 2005

Sin City and The Alchemist.

So, on the train I've been reading The Alchemist, which I finished reading today. Also, after work today I went and saw Sin City. One of these things was good. The other is stuggling to keep its IQ above room temperature (but doesn't).

Sigh.

The thing is, it was pretty, but the music and acting sucked. Basically, yet another film outdone by its trailer.

Or perhaps I mean the plot and characters and descriptions, just to keep things ambiguous.

[in-seh ity-say usant-way at-tay ood-gay]

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

The PETA war continues

So, I'm driving out of the parking garage this morning when suddenly there is this goose waddling down the exit lane. Good thing my eagle eye caught sight of him, otherwise I would have generated some pate {pretend there's an accent there} right there and then.

But that wasn't good enough for this mofo - Normal animals will get out of your way, but no, he sat there screaming at me as I looked down his meaty little gullet and edged the my nerdmobile around him. Jeeze, what a prick.

ALSO - my SmartCard metro card stopped working this morning and I had to buy a new one. Those bastards are everywhere.

DOUBLE ALSO, when I left work late last Friday evening, there was a goose sitting right outside the door - no shit - and so I kinda had to walk around him/her to get to my car.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Oh yeah

That reminds me - someone stuck a PETA sticker on my car over the weekend. ARRRRGGGHHH.

Really, people.

I had to scrape it off and now there's this crappy residue spot left. Granted, my car is a total beater, but yo, that leaves a mark that just isn't gonna fade away. On my SOUL. Do you have any idea how many animals I had to kill before I calmed down (none really, this is a joke.)

(except the two hamburgers I had later that day. But those kangaroos totally had it coming to them.)

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Gran Tourismo 4

Just so you know, GT4 is a lot like GT3, except that it's one better. Likewise, I'm very much looking forward to GT11.

Update: Cause this one goes to 11.

National Building Museum

Walking into the National Building Museum (step directly accross the street from the F Street exit of the Judiciary Square Red Line Metro Station) is like walking into Howard Hughes' high school gymnasium. It's a massive empty space, with giant columns (borrowed from St. Peters?) soaring up to a open iron girder beam roof. There is a fountain, of all things, inside the acre like carpeted interior, which is otherwise empty.

It's a little overwhelming, especially considering the small exhibits stashed around the periphery. I get the feeling Gene Hackman occassionaly stops by and hands them a tape measure (You, put Ollie on your shoulders) - "I think you will find the exact same measurmenets back in Hickory." Uh, I'm afraid that's the problem.

The concrete exhibit was a little weird - sure, there's neat things like the transluscent wall (infused with glass fibers), or the aerated concrete that was autoclaved into a lighter than water sphere. Oddly, large portions of the exhibit floor had three foot lengths of rebar sticking out on a 6 inch grid. This was in two separate rooms and didn't really have any sign explaining why it was there. Ambience = Watch out for the falling action movie villians.

Anyway, they have a ton of space in there, and the thought occurred that they should install some builidings inside of that giant atrium. I realize it's a volunteer operation and hence and therefore they are light on cash, but maybe they could put in some old houses and let you walk around them. After all, it is a Building Museum. It'd be trippy to walk in the door and see an old city block (or whatever), sitting in there well clear of the ceiling.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Yo

I totally forgot what I was going to say. Doh!

Monday, April 04, 2005

Apropos of nothing

From Duckman:

"I'd dream I fell & hurt my head on a fishbowl, hurt myself just bad enough to work graveyard shift at a convience store. A group of Hari Krishnas always came in at 4am and bought 16 gallons of Mr. Slushi and a package of banana flavored Ding Dongs, then the Swedish Bikini Team jumped out of a magazine and read Moby Dick to me inside a giant carton of cottage cheese. 'Why?' I'd ask myself, 'What could it mean? Am I mad or is the world just a mystery too complex to understand?'"

- Cornfed

Back in black

Yo, if your land is ever in a draught - if it's been so long since it rained that you don't even remember what rain looks or feels like anymore - and not just a London drizzle pissing away a grey afternoon, although now you'd settle for even that, but rather real rain. Manly rain. End of the world rain.

Then please pay me to come move to or from your area.

On the day I load and unload my stuff, chances are, it will rain. It will rain sideways. Also, upside down, backwards, and forwards. It will pound the earth into soggy submission, forming small lakes in your lawns, were it will then splash percusively. Bean sprouts, long dormant inside their seed pods, will send tendrils into the ground (possibly after I have left). And all of this for very reasonable rates (judging by the past).

Caution - it may snow instead. This depends on the time of the year.

Rainmaker

From work today:

Colloquium Cancelled

Due to bad weather in the South and related flight cancellations, the staff colloquium for Friday, April 1, 2005, "Triggered Lightning from Natural Thunderclouds," has been cancelled.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Tee hee

Alien loves predator [R] (via Ghost of a Flea)

M. Hedberg 2


  • You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".

  • I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

  • I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. "Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches?" All-encompassingly...