that is not right

Dog-Shaped Dog Poop Composter Just Looks Wrong

What the what, Japan.

I heart the Japanese

Billetproof

Nifty photos from the Billetproof auto show.

Way way cheaper

But apparently pretty close to the real thing: Games so real the best of drivers take them seriously

By PETER LYON
Special to The Japan Times

Advancing technology blurs the line between virtual and real-world driving as today's champions practice on television screens.

News photo
Creator Kazunori Yamauchi constantly refines his "Gran Turismo" racing video game. PETER LYON PHOTOS

When I suggested to Kazunori Yamauchi — creator of the "Gran Turismo" video game — that he codrive with me in his first ever "real world" race, a one-hour Mazda MX-5 endurance event at Tsukuba Circuit in Ibaraki Prefecture in 2006, he vacillated for a day or so. Despite being a very good driver, he said no one had ever invited him to join a real race before.

Giga 20 Light Dump

Bracketology: Worst Asian Vehicle Names.

My choice appears in the title here. On the other hand, I'd be happy to drive a FR-V Joy Machine around. In fact, there's the new nickname for my own hoopty.

Very tangentially, I recently was seated on a flight next to a somewhat chatty old lady. It turned out that she had been married to a bird colonel and had lived and traveled just about everywhere. She said that back in the fifties (and probably today) the roads in Japan were very narrow, with deep ditches on both sides. And they had these three wheeled moped trucks that were rather boxy. Which made it hard for her to drive her Cadillac around when she went to town. So when they drove past each other, she would close her eyes and hope for the best. I have this pastel colored midcentry modern vision of a young blond woman in a pink '58 Cadillac, cruising through streets filled with salarymen and kimono clad women. Sophia Coppola should get right on that.

Hey Louie, the man is dry.

Adam Savage writes a Valentine to his favorite F/X movie, Blade Runner.

For better or worse, Blade Runner was a big influence on me. I knew it the minute I saw it, and in fact, I was bewildered that it had flopped. Certain things, certain bands or songs or cars or girls, you just know, right away. 25 years ago this year.

1982 also featured E. T., The Thing, TRON, Conan the Barbarian, and Star Trek II (Khan!) (also Tootsie, if you're my Mom). What an excellent year for nerds, even if I only saw most of those films much later. Anyway, Mr. Savage is right that the old fashioned composition effects in Blade Runner are better than the CGI that prevails today. Ironically, the ability to render anything has reduced the realism, or at least it is overused to the point where it breaks the spell. E.G, when actors and cameras move unphysically. (The camera work is always jarring to me - it's too showy and it's a fashion I hope dies out. See also oversaturated colors and choppy video-like editing. Also I am old. Harrumph.)

PS, skip the model Blade Runner gun and get the Korean Blade Runner Umbrella.

Felix Hernandez

Third inning, Boston vs Seattle, Hernandez is dropping 92 mph sliders on top of 100-99 mph fastballs followed up with 90 mph curves and 88 mph breaking balls. Electric stuff, effectively wild (scary). Last time someone this good was pitching for the Mariners was Randy Johnson in 1993 through 1997.

Usually these marque match-ups disappoint (oh yeah, some guy called Dice-K's pitching too), but so far, this one is Awesome. Wicked frickin' pissa' awesome.

UPDATE: HERNANDEZ IS PITCHING A NO-HITTER THROUGH 7, AND HE IS DOMINATING. I AM SO EXCITED I'M BREAKING MY NUMBER TWO RULE* AND TYPING IN ALL-CAPS, BECAUSE YES, I REALLY AM SHOUTING.

Update 2: Pineiro is in for Boston. My brother Adam just called to say that this is a bit of strategy on Cochran's part: Let Pineiro give up 15 runs, at which point Felix will have sat too long to go back in.... There's only one word for it: Strategery. Yes, Yoda is wise, but the Rock is powerful.

*Number one rule? I will never, ever, never ever buy an RV.

The Predator's Watch

LED geometric patterns to tell the time. No word yet if it has a thermonuclear self-destruct option.

Godzilla

It turns out he's scientifically implausible.

Afro Samurai Soundtrack

The ultraviolent, 6-episode samurai steampunk blaxploitation anime Afro Samurai is, basically, okay.

The story is comic-book cliche, not unlike Kill Bill. In fact, there's probably a one to one mapping from the two sets of fans (it's surjective!) But they supposedly spent $1 million per episode on the artwork, and I would say it shows. The animation is cinema-quality Gonzo studio artwork all the way through. Samuel L. Jackson, Kelly Hu, and Ron Perlman star as voice talents. I suspect this is a vanity project for Samuel.

Set the story aside, though, and the best part of the whole endeavor is the Rza's soundtrack. It's probably his best work since Ghost Dog, featuring Gza, Big Daddy Kane, and Q-Tip, among others. Three tracks are on the website to sample, so take a listen.

The Straight Dope

From the oft-entertaining Straight Dope

• Why did Mr. Phillips invent a new type of head for screws? Was he bored?
  [Robertson head screws are great, or so I've heard.]
  
• How come the U.S. uses 120 volt electricity, not 240 like the rest of the world?
• Questions they refuse to answer.
• The Pompatus of Love.
• Class B Cigarettes [Which recalls Norm McDonald's infamous appearance on the Dennis Miller Show]

Question: Who figured out that you could eat a part of the fugu without getting poisoned?

Andre the Giant has a Posse

And he could drink. A lot.

"Virtue is its own reward. Because it has to be."

It's been a tough off-season to be a Seattle Mariners fan. But misery is often the muse for genius, New adventures and old stories:

TALE THE SECOND: THE TALE OF DOM PERIGNON (BORROWED)
Wandering the streets and trails of Okinawa with a camera and notebook is harder work than you might estimate. There’s always more going on than I have time, energy or expertise to catalog. After these days, there are the nights.

Usually my preference is local establishments catering to locals. One night, though, I happened upon an expatriate bar, that hallmark of literary excellence. The Lost Generation had theirs, Stein and Hemingway. With luck, I thought, this spot might serve as my Cafe de Medecis, Max’s Kansas City or even my Rick’s.

Better yet, the place has an international feel. The owner’s from the Phillipines and speaks three languages, the staff friendly, the clientele a hodgepodge of American military, Aussie wanderers, university professors. On a given night you can be talking about Baudrillard or buying drinks for a couple of young men headed for Iraq. Or both, and sometimes with the same people.

When I came here, I brought a case of Pinot Gris from Oregon, my home state. These would serve as gifts for people I met who helped with the book. Lively conversation and the occasional piece of information certainly assist, so the bar owner qualifies. It was her birthday on Wednesday, so I thought I’d swing by and drop a bottle off.

Giving liquor to someone that owns a bar is kind of like giving Dave Cameron advice about prospect analysis, but hey, it’s what I had. It’s the gesture that counts, right?

After I finished karate, I stepped into the low blue light expecting no one to be around. It was 10 p.m. on a Wednesday, hardly prime watering hole time. Yet there were the bar owner and staff with their families, having a small private party. I hadn’t expected anything but to drop off the wine and chalk up my good deed for the day.

They’d just opened two bottles of Dom Perignon, one 1997 and one 1999. Would I like to stay and sample them, since I’d never had such vintage?

Virtue is its own reward. Dom Perignon is nice, too.

And it only gets better when the devil, evil Rick Rizz, shows up. Mariners baseball, after a very brief fluorescence has settled back into their decades old ruts of losing, incompetence and overall misery. Perhaps it's just the manifestation of Seattle's long drizzly gray winters, but USS Mariner is great.

Buy Japanese

Hi, how's it going?

Well, I've been busy, but I'll say a couple of things now: 1) Although I'm American, and although I own a Honda whose paint has peeled off due to a manufacturing flaw, it has been my measured experience that Japanese products meet their specifications, whereas with other products of other countries of origin, you are rolling the dice.

Which got me to wonder - I walked by a Pontiac G6 the other day, which is an unremarkable if surprisingly inoffensive car, and wondered, how good would an American car have to be before I would pay the same amount for it as an Asian car? I think European cars are overpriced, even if nice, (BMW & Volvo, yes - MB, Jaguar, Saab no. Fiat? Are you kidding me? I'd buy Russian first.)(Sorry "John Sardus", although I guess Sardianian doesn't count, huh?)(Sorry Filipp, you commie)

So, I am largely prejudiced against American cars, as I suspect are many Americans. For more on this idea, I suggest you go visit Robert Farago, who goes into far more detail in his GM death watch.

That said, I would still buy a low end American pick-up, but no way am I paying 50k for some gussied up dinoburner. Sorry Dad, but I wonder about that Suburban. I'd love a straight six long bed plain old short cab 4x2 with cloth or vinyl seating, just like Sam Walton used to drive. And I would drive it too, with a straight bill baseball cap which I would wear without a single once of irony. And I would pick up 4'x8'sheets of AC grade plywood, which I would take home to my garage/workshop for Hank Hill like projects. Goddam hipsters ruin everything.

2) I am reading for fun, and MarkHelprin's "Memoir from Antproof Case" has been really, really good so far. Certainly on the 1 page scale, where his stylistic touch is simply genius. And I mean, all-time genius grade. We'll see if this evaluation holds up in the long-page limit. Ironically, his protagonist is insane and hates coffee, which I have drunk while reading his rants.

3) Google Maps simply rules, and I have spent the last few lunch breaks looking for cars I have owned on the North American continent, since the keyhole photos were taken at different periods. What you say? Why no link? Gee, why don't you Google for it, you lazy bastards.

Real gone

Ah, Tom Waits - have you ever produced an album that isn't worth a listen? Okay, I can't stand Black Rider, but everything else is brilliant. The reviewers say you're difficult, but whose fault is
it if you don't understand a genius? From my own personal experience, I tell you what, it's not the genius's fault. Okay, you do go overboard sometimes, it's all "Growl! [boom] Grr Grr Rah Groan! [bam]!" I know it's too far because I know what I like. But that beginning big beat at the start of Shake it, the one that's more pondermotive than percussive, that thing could cure cancer. You kinda wander off it, not unlike JSBX. Actually, there is the fairest comparison I can think off. Take grittly old blues, and then swagger and strut your way through a wall of distortion on top of a GZA beat.

However, as much fun as it is to keep the neighbors awake, I like the slow melancholy stuff better. Like Sins of my Father, or Dead and Lovely, and How's It Gonna End. These songs are very reminiscent of All the World is Green, from Blood Money. People say they're repetitive, since it's not a Tom Waits album till someone's getting hanged, but I think they're more evocative than anything. When you think of it, what in human existence isn't repetitive? So of course our stories are too, and music as drenched in cultural mythologies as Stager Lee being interviewed by Joseph Campbell about what he thinks of Genesis. Genesis the book of the Bible, not Genesis the band with Phil Collins, although, with the fervor some people have for the 80's, it probably doesn't make that much difference. But I guess that's how I'd approach a Tom Waits record, and furthermore, I think these songs would make a really, really, good soundtrack.

Grade: A

Ichiro! Rules!

JIM BATES / THE SEATTLE TIMES

He did it! 259 and counting. Now, there might be talk that there should be an asterisk on this, because he did this in game #160 (Ichiro has played 159), where as George Sisler did his in 154 games in 1920. Obvs, I'm a partisan, but you can argue that Ichiro's acomplisment is just as impressive because (1) We are now in an era of relief pitchers and reduced pitch counts, both of which help the pitching (2) Safeco is dramatically a pitchers park. Ichiro is hitting .338 at Safeco and .405 away (~340 at bats for each). Also, he started off relatively slow this year (.255 in April). Since the All-Star break, he's been batting .425. Unbelievable.